vio1n

Hey, just giving a quick update on what's been going on.

So... I'm not doing great financially. I was arrested last year, and I owe the court about 400 bucks, and I can't get a job to pay it off because no one is willing to hire me with charges on my record. If I don't pay them by March 1st, they'll become permanent convictions and I'll just be fucked for life, but I can't get a job to pay for it.

So my friend RiddleAugust put together a Pregnancy Cosplay Growth Drive for Kaori, to try to help raise money for me to help me out. If you've been following me, you know it was originally to help me get out of this transphobic household I live in, but I dunno if I'll ever get out of here if I don't get these charges off my record, so... yeah. The donations you guys gave me have been really helping me out the past few months; I was able to raise about $250 last time, and I've got it down to just about $100, I've been making it last for months and months. But a pregnancy growth drive can be a pretty good way to raise some money, especially if it's done by someone as awesome as RiddleAugust.

I've got the donation drive linked here, we still haven't reached our first stretch goal.

If you can donate to this, great, if not, that's fine, but can you maybe try to spread this around in other circles?

Thank you all again for your help in the past, it means more than you know.

I'm in a toxic household. My dad is transphobic, and does not accept me for who I am. He's had his thoughts warped by bigots, but more importantly than that he is emotionally immature, INFANTILE even with his emotions. He is toxic, he is abusive, and though he tries his best to help me, his idea of help... isn't.

I have suicidal ideations, and they get stronger every day, especially days when dad is home on the weekends. We keep several guns in the house. I think about ending it a lot, but I don't want to want to kill myself. But the more time I spend here in this hellhole house with my NIGHTMARE PSYCHO dad, the more I lose the strength to hang on.

If I stay here with my dad too much longer, I am going to take my own life.

But I don't want to do that.

I need to get away from my dad. I need to get out of here. But last time I tried, I had no money, and I ended up homeless, had to come back home. Fact is, I'm mentally disabled; I'm autistic, and I am dependent on help from someone else in my life to, for the time being, move on with my life.

Please, I'm not asking for much, just enough so I can get far away from this place and maybe find shelter somewhere. Maybe in the Pacific Northwest, maybe California... I don't know anyone, I don't have any friends... family, they're sick of me.

$500 seems like a lot to ask of people, but it's what I was able to live on the last time I was homeless, so if there's some way I can collect that much I might be able to get out of here. I don't even know if I need that much, it feels high...

I hesitated to put this on my tumblr and my FA, but when I posted it on FA I actually got some donations. Maybe there's some hope to this. Update: So, donations have slowed, and I've decided to take what I can get and run. I'm gonna buy a bus ticket away from here, maybe the Seattle area or something, and go. I'm trying to get a ticket for the lowest price possible, but they keep fluctuating in price, and I probably could have gotten one for less than a hundred if I hadn't hesitated. I don't have anyone to take me in anywhere, but that's okay. I'm hoping I can at least stay at the homeless shelter a while... maybe. Bus tickets get cheaper if you buy them a couple weeks out, maybe that'll give me time to plan out what I'm gonna do when I get there.

An update on my medical situation: My doctor was able to prescribe me some medication that, seemingly, has taken care of my speech issue. It's only been two days, but ever since I started taking it, my speech has gone back to normal... I don't know how permanent that is, but a month ought to be okay for me

I'm going back to work on Monday... if they even want me to still work there for how long I was off.

Thank you so much to DracoRogue1218, Tnargraef, Jaden298, and of course PharaohSauron, for sending me donations in my time of financial need. With your support, I was able to pay for my internet bill, my phone bill, various other life-related bills, and kept me fed while I waited on this stupid voice thing to pan out.

I promised you all that I'd be drawing something for you as a token of my appreciation, and while all of you said that wasn't necessary because these were donations, I'd still like to do them because I like repaying kindnesses.

I'm posting this journal, not only as an update on my status health-wise, but also as a reminder to myself to actually draw this time, cuz I made some promises in the past that I didn't keep. I still need to get to those drawings at some point

Hi. So, I'll cut to the point. tl;dr, I have lost my ability to speak normally, I have autism, and I can't qualify for disability for a couple months, meaning I will have no income in the interim. I don't like doing this, and I never have, but... I need help. If you can donate to my kofi here, you'll be saving my ass and I'll be eternally grateful: Ko-fi.com/P5P5CVMJ Here's the situation. I am in need of financial assistance due to medical issues that have recently come up. I've been on sick leave from my job for the past month, and I just learned they are not paying me for my time off. I'm looking to apply for disability, not only for the condition I describe below, but also because I've been diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder and have struggled with holding down a stable job for my entire working career. I also have Centralized Anxiety, Mild Depression, and I was diagnosed ADHD as a child; any one of those on their own is bad enough, but all of those together is a nasty combo. Thus, I applied for disability, but I won't have an appointment till the 16th, and I won't be approved for 2 to 4 months after that, if I am even approved at all. Let me explain. A month ago as of yesterday at the time of writing this long-tweet, I lost my ability to speak normally. While I was on the phone at work, I suddenly felt a switch being turned off in my brain, and instantly felt a heaviness in my head, akin to there being what I've described as "a rock inside my skull", a fog inside my brain, and my speech became slurred. It has not improved since that day. I've seen 3 different doctors, I've had blood tests, I've had a CT scan, I'm scheduled for an MRI this Thursday, I've been given medication, and nothing has worked; doctors can't make heads or tails of it. The fog has remained, my head still feels heavy, and I cannot speak normally. This has prevented me from working at my call center job, and I've been off sick this whole time... and unfortunately, I am not being paid for my sick leave. There is a distinct possibility that this newly developed speech impediment is permanent, and thus I won't be able to work at this job anymore. I'm in a position where I'm not able to work, but I can't be on disability either, not for some time. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place, and I have no source of income for some time. I have rent and bills to pay, and I have no insurance, which means these medical bills are also gonna hit me hard, leaving me with even more debt than I already have. If you can donate whatever you can spare to my kofi, link above, I'll be able to pay rent, my internet bill, my phone bill, and others, while I wait in the interim to apply for disability. My rent is 450 a month, my phone bill is 40, my internet is 70, my budget for groceries is 400 a month, and an extra 200 for other expenses would keep me afloat. I know that's a lot to ask, but hopefully it won't be long; hopefully I can qualify for disability and go back to the independence I've enjoyed for months before now. Thank you to anyone and everyone who can donate. It means the world to me

I'm deleting all of my deviations off of deviantART and moving them over to FurAffinity. I've already downloaded them from here and I'm gonna post them there, slowly, over time. Better download them now while you still have a chance, because they're gonna be gone on Monday.

UPDATE: Ehhhhhh might be later than Monday. The process of moving my deviations over is a long one. Not certain but we'll see... who knows, maybe I'll get it done today?

Catch me on FurAffinity at https://www.furaffinity.net/user/dakln/